As demands increase and a child's abilities to meet those demands decrease due to dysmaturity and neurobehavioral exceptionalities, it will create significant stress (for all involved) and the child will absolutely regress and often revert back to behaviors of toddlerhood. Children CANNOT self regulate, especially if there is a neurodivergent brain in their heads, history of trauma, etc., that creates a hyper vigilant state. They need a calm adult to co-regulate WITH them. The first "coping skill" should be to find a trusted regulated person to help them in their distress. One who can recognize their anger, aggression and "crappy attitude" is sometimes the only way they know how to ask for help until they are able to achieve it on their own.
"Children who act out their pain rather than locking it down are often diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Behavior, Attachment Disorder or Conduct Disorder. But these labels ignore the fact that rage and withdrawal are only facets of a whole rage of desperate attempts at survival. Trying to control a child's behavior while failing to address the underlying issue-the abuse (or medical trauma, birth trauma, emphasis mine) leads to treatments that are ineffective at best and harmful at worst". Bessel Van der Kolk
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